Eulogy for Dr. Kwang Yoke Pin (Girly) delivered at the Mandai Crematorium on 12 June 09
By Shirley Ooi
To the family members and friends of my best friend, Girly,
Firstly, I would like to thank Girly’s husband, Siang Hiong, for giving me this opportunity to give an eulogy for Girly. How befitting after being her best friend for 29 long yrs!
I first met Girly way back in 1980 when both of us were fellow ASEAN pre-university scholars from Malaysia although from different states. Girly studied in NJC while I studied in HJC. However, we were ‘toilet mates’ in our hostel in Nantah. Toilet mates meant that 2 rooms shared a common bath room. We could both identify with each other well as we struggled thro’ the initial months being teenagers in a new country away from our homes and having to catch up with ½ yr of lessons having joined at the beginning of Term 3 in JC1. As early as then, Girly had already shown her motherly caring nature. She would cook supper for us. These included Varsha her room mate, Fei Chen, my roommate and Pik Onn.
Our friendship further deepened during our medical undergraduate years where we were fellow hostelites living in ‘D’ floor of King Edward VII hall. We became very close friends as we studied together, shared our struggles together, laughed and played and had late-night suppers and meals together. I always remember that she was a most talented sportswoman. Unlike the more sedentary me, Girly could play almost all games ranging from volleyball to netball. She was sociable and most well-liked by all who know her because of her bubbly, cheerful and caring nature who never failed to offer help to any of her friends. Unlike me, she was the more organized, hardworking and conscientious one. She would have revised 3-4 times before her exams but I would have revised ¾ of a round! Such was Girly’s diligence and sense of responsibility that she carried all the way to her adult working years.
On looking back, those undergrad years were the most precious to me as it was through mixing with her that I learnt the meaning of true friendship and selflessness and also how to juggle and get more out of life instead of just emphasizing on my studies unlike in my pre-U and early school years. Thank you, Girly, for helping me develop to become a more balanced person.
Even into our working years and then when both of us got married and had children, we continued to keep in touch. Believe it or not, we would call and speak to each other almost daily all these years although both of us were very busy juggling with our multiple roles. Somehow we treasured our friendship so much that we made time for each other. She would call me on her handphone while driving to and from work. When asked whether this would lead to a very high mobile phone bill, her answer was she was willing to use her money to buy time, which was a very precious commodity to her. She was also very generous and would always give big and meaningful birthday presents to me and my family. My kids will always remember ‘Aunty Girly’ for this.
Girly had always been my adviser in multiple areas of my life-ranging from family to work to kids’ education. I can never forget that I took an ‘intensive practical neonatal course’ from her to see how to bathe a newborn when her daughter, Vivian, was born in Aug 1995 as I was due with my firstborn a month after that! Also, as one with a relatively poor sense of direction, whenever I did not know my way around in S’pore, I would just have to call Girly and she could let me know with precise instructions on how to get to a place. I have never failed to admire how a person can be so familiar with the roads in S’pore that I had jokingly called her ‘Minister for Transport’!
Another attribute of Girly worth mentioning is that althogh she gave her very best in her work, she would always put her family first. Hence, it took her so long to complete her advanced specialist training in public health because she just could not find the time to complete a research project early with her very heavy administrative workload, she being a perfectionist and she wanting to spend time guiding her children. Such was the sacrifice that Girly as a mum had given to her family. I am proud to say that her research project eventually got accepted for publication a few months ago! Such was her perseverance! She also managed to bring up 2 very intelligent, well-behaved and responsible children- Calvin in JC2 and Vivian in Sec 2, who were both in the Gifted Education Programme.
Girly had always been a very determined and courageous person. 10 yrs ago, she successfully battled a breast cancer and led a very fruitful life after that.
A year ago, I distinctly recalled that on the day of my daughter’s birthday party in early June 08, she could not make it as she said she could not complete 2 work projects that were due that Monday. This was something very unusual as Girly had never turned me down for any of my invitations. I think during that time, she probably overstretched herself without adequate rest. She then complained of a left sided chest pain in mid-June 08 and it was soon discovered to be cancer spreading to the lungs from an unknown primary source initially. I saw her suffer through the chemotherapy. Despite all the sufferings from pain and side effects of the chemo, she put up a brave fight as she had really wanted to get well to see her children grow up.
In fact, she was relatively well during the Chinese New Year period this year. She could drive around and even go shopping with me for new year clothes. She soon discovered a lump in her left thigh. Biopsy eventually confirmed a sarcoma and that was the primary cancer. She was willing to go through an operation to get the cancer removed. Unfortunately with a delay in wound healing and chemotherapy, the cancer cells started spreading again.
She continued the battle against her cancer. Never once did she mention that she wanted to give up. I called her daily. I gauged her wellness by whether she could talk to me with her normal volume of voice or not. I saw how she suffered but she continued to press on till the end.
In the battle against cancer, amazingly, she found God and got baptized into the Catholic faith on 18 May 09. It was not an easy decision for her. She had been brought up in a very loving and close-knit Buddhist. Her husband, Siang Hiong, had quite recently accepted Jesus Christ into his life. She loved her husband dearly and but she also loved her parents, brother and sister dearly. Eventually she decided to accept the Lord Jesus into her life. Before she did this, she made sure that she had her family’s blessings and support on her decision first. Such was her filial piety. I asked her what eventually made her decide on it. She told me that she could experience the peace of God and the presence of the Holy Spirit when her Christian friends, Siang Hiong’s Catholic priest, Father Frederick and Sr Agnes, a Catholic nun prayed for her. I wish to let Girly’s family know that she continued to love you all dearly to the very end even after accepting Jesus Christ into her life. In addition, she experienced the peace of God and that really helped her in the battle against cancer.
Girly’s favourite verse was John 3:16-17 which states that “For God so love the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believe in him shall not perish but have eternal life. For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him.”
Girly is now safe in the arms of Jesus. She is now in heaven freed from all the pain and suffering. She is now having a sweet communion with our Lord Jesus. For this, we thank God for 46 years of a beautiful life well-lived that had touched many deeply. Although very painful for losing her, we must rejoice that she is now experiencing an eternal life free of pain and suffering. As in 2 Tim 4:6-7 she could definitely say that, “I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith. Now there is in store for me the crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous Judge, will award to me on that day – not only to me, but also to all who have longed for his appearing.” Yes, Girly’s life will be rewarded with a crown of righteousness from our Lord Jesus. May you rest in peace my best friend and we will meet again in heaven one day!
